I write for you, momma.

I remember the day well. We had three kiddos and a baby. In an I-was-here-first moment, my six-year-old son ran into the house and slammed the door on his younger brother.

Not wanting to interrupt my nursing babe but also desiring justice, I felt the need to teach Micah why slamming the door on his four-year-old brother Jesse wasn’t okay.

Met with Micah’s glassy stare, I decided to punctuate the point by letting him know how it felt to have the door slammed on him. “Okay Jesse, go to the sliding glass door and slam Micah’s foot in it.”

“Mom, no!” they cried.

Our oldest son, Josiah, eight-years-old at the time, tried to convince me this was a terrible idea. “Are you sure, Mama?”

But I had recently read how I needed to be determined in my parenting. Consistency was king. The child-training books on our shelves confirmed I could not let my kids talk me out of my decisions.

Micah obeyed and placed his six-year-old bare foot in the door.

Josiah held his breath.

Jesse, though reluctant, slammed the door.

I never thought about the fact that our physics-loving Micah would, of course, want to see what would happen to his foot as the door came at him.

WHAM!—right on his skull.

I sat on the floor crying with the perpetrator, defendant, and spectator. We formed a huddle of tears on the floor as the reality of the moment sank in.

 I am the dumbest mom in the world. How did I think for one moment that I could raise a crew of kids for the glory of God?

But in that heap of mess and tears, a hope from God dropped in my heart.

But if you teach me, Lord, I will help anyone who wants to know. I promise.

God used my struggles to strengthen me—and He used some other practical means as well:

–   His word: Scripture both anchors us and causes us to soar.

–   His people: Between my amazing husband and wise friends, God gave me a hearty sounding board for truth.

–   His ways: Prayer with my man shed light on our path.

–   His love: God’s constant grace convinced our kiddos to keep trying.

Our big picture in all of this—in the heap of mess and tears, in the ups and downs of parenting and life—is friendship with our Creator and one another. Deep friendship.

Have you ever wanted someone to hold the candle of hope to your path? I’m here to cheer you on as you engage with your people, have courageous conversations, and wait for fruit to develop. 

I don’t have it all figured out. But, through our gracious Lord, I’ve learned some things along the way, and I’m willing to share my struggles with you so we both can succeed.