I have an intense desire to be close with my family. Though sometimes it’s hardly detectible. Going back to God’s word again and again for strength and encouragement is my lifeline. How does one bridge the gap from ages twenty-one down to four?

Psalm 119:25 & 28
My soul clings to the dust; revive me according to Your word. 28 My soul melts from heaviness, strengthen me according to Your word.

On our own we get into ruts. At least I do. Connecting with all these big and little people can become overwhelming. God is our source of strength to fulfill what He has called us to do. He calls children a blessing. If we stop viewing them in that light, who can revive our vision? Who can give us the strength to keep up with their growing abilities and desires?

Psalm 119:31-32 

I cling to Your testimonies; O Lord, do not put me to shame! 32 I will run the course of Your commandments, for You shall enlarge my heart.

Kayaking  .  Cliff jumping  .  Swimming  .  Fishing  .  Diving  .  Stargazing  .  Tubing

We just returned from Lake Powell. Traveling four days total in our van, we lived on a house boat for five days. It was an awesome experience. There was no internet connection. We created and ate every meal together–uninterrupted. It was a sweet memorable time. These are gifts from the Lord.

But how much of the above list do you think I was able to participate in at seven months pregnant in 100 degree weather? Yes, I swam, or should I say bobbed. When we realize how limited we are in the ability to make fruitfulness happen and become dependent on the Lord, an amazing transition happens. “Without me,” Jesus says, “You can do nothing.” (From John 15) In Him is life and fruitfulness.

Growing with our kids

1. Praise God for all He’s done already —Thankfulness is healthy and necessary for more growth. Forget about the next “thing” we want God to do for us. Get lost in praising Him! Thoroughly enjoy the God who created us, our homes, our families…even if they are a mess at the moment. Nothing is too hard for Him. Relationship with Him is all we start with and all we will have in the end. Nurture this relationship first, husband second, and children next.

2. Let them grow and try new things —don’t try to keep them little for our own sake. There is time to use caution, but let them grow wings. Pray for their God given talents to show. Parenting out of fear never brings life. We have to trust God. It’s so fun to watch God turn their buds to blossoms.

3. Be their cheerleader —receive the grace from God to run with their callings. Let them know how genuinely excited you are for their opportunities.

4. Be as involved as you can —don’t let go of them too soon. This is a step by step necessary stage. Seek counsel from your husband. Go to God daily. Stay involved. Cut off unfruitful activities. If you already have a strong relationship, this stage is sweet. If not, ask God to fill the void. Then draw closer to the one furthest away…whatever it takes! Move from Shepherding a Child’s Heart (by Tedd Tripp) to the counsel from Age of Opportunity (by Paul Tripp.) In the book Age of Opportunity, Paul talks about putting in sidewalks instead of fences. It’s a must read.

5. Ask God for daily grace and opportunity —all fruitfulness comes from God. Seek Him for wisdom, strength, and depth in these relationships. Lots of teens don’t foresee an exit plan. They wiggle and squirm to find their identity and purpose. If Mom and Dad are only squelching their desires, how long will they stay? Pray for God given opportunities, not the ones the world provides. Pray for the ability to pour on the gas, instead of water, to the things God is leading your teen to do.

Some opportunities we have had with our kids

Our second born son has wanted to be a missionary bush pilot from the time he was little. When the opportunity came at age 14 for him to begin flight training from his uncle, I was excited but reserved. He was having some major challenges in school. But opportunity doesn’t often strike twice. We prayerfully moved forward and saw God break through the walls in the learning curve he needed. He jumped five grade levels that year, we realized as we reviewed his end of the year test scores. Never underestimate the power of God or the momentum a good opportunity can bring.

Two of our sons wanted to start a kennel. One wanted to raise border collies (age 13) and the other (age 11) wanted to partner with me in raising chocolate and silver labs. My highly skilled sister-in-law willing walked us through the process. She is both a midwoof and a vet tech. We weighed the responsibility and went for it. This year we provided 18 high quality AKC registered chocolate/silver labs for unbelievable prices. And seven adorable highly-competitive border collies for the working collie world. We have been warned there is no money to be made in this field because of the risks and expenses. This has thrown us into the lap of the Lord for each birth and incident. So far we are in the lead, saving college funds, and fulfilling a few dreams.

One of our sons was challenged to share the gospel from a man at church. This desire burned on his heart. He so desperately wanted to go to the feed store of our little town. I finally took him. Not only was he able to share the gospel, the fellow offered him a job. When they discovered that he just turned fifteen, the owner said come back when you’re sixteen and we will give you a job. He prayed and went back a few days later, determined to work. They did hire him and it’s been an excellent opportunity for him to share his faith and earn money for college.

Time would prevent us from talking about all the motorcycle, dune buggy exploits the boys have tackled. But I will share that just to have them near us and to be involved in their interests, we have allowed many a motorcycle to be worked on over a mat in the living room of our home.

*Take what’s helpful, leave what’s not your style. But please be encouraged to find out the interest of your growing youth. Pray for their God given skills to prevail.

Outside activities worth considering

TeenPact Leadership School — a godly ministry that trains young people to be leaders to impact our nation and world for Jesus. They pray, interview senators and judges, learn about our justice system, learn to ask great questions of dignitaries, and study how to better serve our people. We had no idea how God infused this opportunity was until several of our kids went. Everyone came back deepened in their walk with the Lord and more aware of the needs around them!

Summit Ministries — trains Christians in apologetics, helping them to analyze worldviews, and showing them how to engage socially to our current culture. Their two week training program has been influential in so many of the teens we know. Hosting some of the leading speakers in worldview, Summit has a way of speaking to the mind and the heart. High school and college students learn to articulate their faith and defend it to our world.

Gleanings for the Hungry — an opportunity to serve in the peach harvest near Death Valley, California. Youth work together, eat together, worship together, and play together. The emphasis is providing food for the poor of the world, all-the-while students get their own batteries charged during daily devotions, worship, and long hours of team building service. This spiritually rich opportunity to be the hands and feet of Christ continues to be life changing for those who attend as well as life giving to the recipients of the gospel and dried foods they provide.

Share your experience

If someone has helped you “grow wings” please share your experience with us. Or if you have seen God at work in your youth, developing their potential, please expound on the grace of God in their life. We’d love to hear what God is up to.